Cool Whip

A delicious blend of Sugar, Water, Wax and Lube?????? Did you know the mass produced store bought whipped cream is neither actually made from cream nor does it contain much of it? Yeah, I was shocked too, Keep reading…more revelations your way…….

Ingredients:

Water : Its the main ingredient of course coz of the cream that’s whipped. But like any whipped product the other main ingredient is the high percentage of air. They r not gonna mention that as an ingredient ! So at 41 cents an ounce you are essentially buying water and air (mostly) just over twice of what it would cost you to make your own.

Corn Syrup and high fructose corn syrup: Other , more unhealthy forms of sugar(if that’s possible!).  Corn syrup is mostly glucose. High fructose corn syrup is corn syrup treated with amylase and other enzymes, which help convert glucose into fructose. Both of which are literally equal to shooting yourself in the head !!! Really !!!

Polysorbate 60: Polysorbates are made by polymerizing ethylene dioxide( a precursor to antifreeze) with a sugar alcohol derivative. The result can be detergent, emulsifier or in this case of polysorbate 60 a sexual lubricant ! Now you know where they get the 100% perfect viscosity and have you ever wondered how the whipped cream stays so fluffy and viscous all through the 2 months its in your refrigerator? Now you know.

Sodium Caseinate: Also common in powdered non dairy creamer, this is a protein derived from cow milk, helps oil and water mix.

Hydrogenated Coconut and plam kernel oil : Cool whip needs to feel like whipped cream in the mouth without actually being you know, made from cream. One cheap, reliable and mass production friendly way is to replicate the texture by using semi solidified plant seed oils. The best way to semi solidify? Pump high pressure hydrogen through them, ofcourse not completely. Any partially hydrogenated oil is translucent and high in trans fat. Translation? Clogged arteries, with high risk for heart attacks and liver failures.

Sorbitan Monostearate: Chemists call this stuff synthetic wax, also sometimes used as…brace yourselves….hemorrhoid cream. Its one of the magical substances used to keep the cool whip from turning into liquid over your shelf life period.

Xanthan and Guar gums: They both are key thickeners that work together and keep it viscous and also prevent the formation of ice crystals from all the water in it !

Not very appetizing isn’t it? Exactly. So just make your own whipped cream is all I can say. How difficult is it to pour some cream and sugar in a bowl and use a fork to whip it for 5 minutes? It tastes heavenly, better than any brand you ever bought and its a great workout! Try it, its not rocket science.

This blog  is based on an article in the  most recent issue of Wired Magazine.

2 Responses

  1. And to think of it, once you wanted to dump the contents of the whole canister in my mouth! Hmmm yummy🙂

  2. now now, you are suggesting better, yet to cheaper alternatives to certain things i see😛

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